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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25642915">All Clean</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lallyloo/pseuds/lallyloo'>lallyloo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Car Wash [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rhett &amp; Link</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Never Met, Dancing, M/M, Masturbation, Watching</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:49:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,661</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25642915</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lallyloo/pseuds/lallyloo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Link accidentally rolls into a topless car wash. Rhett washes his vehicle while wearing tiny booty shorts. Link ends up having a great time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Car Wash [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021368</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>All Clean</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by a prompt from fanbabble on tumblr:<br/><i>Now imagine its late at night and you can’t see out of the windshield and all you see is car wash... And a 6 1/2 foot tall man in booty shorts comes out to press his boobies against your window. Do you “pull out” or just keep on going? PS. Rhett has to have pierced nipples and Link has to be worried for a minute that his paint is gonna get scratched before he decides to stop worrying and jerk off.</i></p><p>This is my first fic in 8 years so I'm a bit rusty.. And apparently I can't write porn without adding feelings. I'm not sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Link squinted as he looked through the windshield, tilting his head as another dirty streak obstructed his view. </p><p>“Dang it..” he muttered under his breath, peering at the parked cars to his right and attempting to locate a safe spot to pull over. He was in an unfamiliar part of town but he was sure there must be a parking lot somewhere. He jumped as the driver behind him blasted their horn and he looked to his left as the car sped around him, giving him another obnoxious blast.</p><p>“I can’t see anything!” Link yelled, throwing his hand up in the air at the other driver.</p><p>He feared he’d missed a place to turn during the interaction and he glanced in his rear view mirror but only saw blurred streetlights through a smear made by his rear wiper. </p><p>“Shit.”</p><p>He continued inching along the street, jumping a little when another driver blasted their horn. His hands gripped the wheel, his body still hunched over as he peered through the last bit of clear windshield. He made a mental note to clean his SUV immediately after his next off-roading adventure rather than assume the next rain shower would clean everything off. Evidently caked-on mud and a light rainfall at 2am were not a safe combination for a moving vehicle. The patches of dirt were mixing with the rain to create a thin paste of mud over the whole of his vehicle.</p><p>He considered rolling down his window and popping his head out, but the fear of being clipped in the back of the head by another driver kept him safely inside his vehicle. He was just about to stop and put on his hazard lights when a bright neon sign called out to him like a beacon.</p><p>CAR WASH</p><p>Link breathed a sigh of relief and sped up a bit, anxious to get himself off the road and into the safety of a parking lot. He steered toward what appeared to be a ticket dispenser and carefully rolled down his window, attempting to reach out and pay for his ticket without touching the layer of grime on the outside of the vehicle. He mashed some buttons and fiddled with his credit card until finally the machine spit out a receipt and the screen lit up with bright green text, flashing the words MOVE AHEAD.</p><p>Link tilted his head to peer through the windshield and slowly inched ahead. He glanced down at his receipt, wondering whether it was a drive yourself situation or if he should be shifting into neutral but the small piece of paper gave him no instructions. It just had some transaction numbers with a large PAID stamped across the bottom.</p><p>“Fifty five dollars?” Link said out loud, frantically glancing between the paper and his windshield. “WHAT?” </p><p>Mild outrage was building in him as he continued inching forward. What kind of place charged $55 for a car wash? Just as he was making a mental note never to visit the place again, the blurry silhouette of a man appeared up ahead, his arm raised and motioning for Link to move his vehicle forward. He was surprised to find an actual person working the car wash at 2am and his anger dissipated a little.</p><p>Link eased his foot off the brake, allowing the vehicle to roll forward a little faster. A sign to his left flashed the words DO NOT EXIT YOUR VEHICLE and below that it said KEEP WINDOWS AND DOORS CLOSED. Link reached over to the automatic window buttons, and clicked them several times to confirm his windows were securely closed. As the vehicle continued to roll forward Link’s eye caught the last bit of text on the sign: 18+ ONLY and NO TOUCHING.</p><p>Link craned his neck, turning in his seat as he attempted to reread the words through the mud-smeared window. “Touching what?”</p><p>Bright light beamed through the smears of mud on his windshield, lighting up the front seat as his vehicle rolled beneath an overhang and into the car wash area. A blast of water hit his windshield, creating a swirl of mud. Then another blast cleared it a bit, giving him a clearer view. Link glanced around quickly, taking in his surroundings. Concrete building. Bright lights. Lots of mist. Wet floor. Suds circling a drain. It all seemed pretty normal and Link settled back in his seat, his foot hovering over the brake as his vehicle continued to roll forward slowly.</p><p>A blast of water hit the passenger window and Link saw the shadow of someone moving to his right. He raised his hand to send a friendly wave of thanks to the guy cleaning his SUV at 2am and Link froze as the man stepped into his line of sight. He was shirtless and he was huge (Link would’ve guessed 7 feet but he wasn’t great at guessing). He was so tall the window cut him off at the chin and Link tipped his head down to get a look at the guy’s face. He was bearded, with wild wavy hair. When his eyes met Link’s he stepped back and gave a slow shake of his hips and Link’s eyes moved down to an extremely small pair of booty shorts.</p><p>Link exhaled audibly. “What..”</p><p>The vehicle continued rolling forward, and the guy blasted the back passenger window. Link took a breath and realized his hand was still frozen mid-wave. He dropped his hand quickly and glanced at the side view mirror. He could see the man there, gyrating his hips as he slowly moved the hose in an up and down motion, alternating the spray between the window and the door before disappearing to the back as he followed the movement of the SUV.</p><p>It was then that Link’s brain registered the pulsing beat of music coming from outside the vehicle. He looked away from the mirror and reached for the receipt he’d thrown on the passenger seat. He glanced over it again quickly, looking for any sort of explanation, but it was still just transaction numbers and PAID. Link turned the receipt over and noticed a pale logo splashed across the back. He tilted the paper in the light to be able to read it better.</p><p>
  <b>SELKIE’S TOPLESS CAR WASH<br/>
We get dirty while you get clean!</b>
</p><p>Panic hit Link for a moment. Clearly he’d missed a step in this whole scenario. He just needed to get some mud off his SUV and now he was slowly rolling through a concrete strip club while a giant man in booty shorts danced around his vehicle. Was he supposed to watch? Was he supposed to DO something? Link glanced around quickly, looking for the exit through the mist up ahead. Just as he was sure he spotted it a knuckle rapped at his driver side window. He let out an exasperated “what?” as his gaze flicked to the man at the window. The guy was still moving with the music, but he was also attempting to signal something to Link, making an exaggerated <i>pat pat</i> motion with his hand. “What?” Link gave him a quizzical look and the guy made the motion again and mouthed some words at him. Link reached over to click the automatic window button, letting it down just enough to call out “what?”</p><p>The guy had stopped moving and he pointed to a flashing STOP sign that Link had somehow missed. “Hit your brakes, man.”</p><p>Link slammed his foot down on the brake pedal and the vehicle came to a full stop.</p><p>“Sorry, missed that!” he called through the gap.</p><p>The guy nodded and called back “put it in park!”</p><p>Link quickly reached for the gear shift, doing what he was told. The music was much clearer with the window open and the guy started swaying to the beat again. The booty shorts left very little to the imagination and Link stared for a brief second, his eyes moving from the smooth fabric to the strong thighs beneath and the muscles moving with every sway. Maybe he was runner?</p><p>Link attempted to snap himself out of it. </p><p>“I think I made a mistake” he called out the window.</p><p>But the guy either didn’t hear him over the music or didn’t care. The man gestured upward with his thumb. “We got rules here,” he called back. “Roll your window up!”</p><p>“Shit.”</p><p>Link quickly rolled his window back up and considered his options. He could hit the gas and head toward the exit. But that wouldn’t really help him with the whole mud situation and he wasn’t crazy about the idea of spending a couple hours inching home with his hazard lights on.</p><p>So he considered option number two - he could just stay and get his SUV washed. He didn’t have to watch. He could just sit patiently, get everything nice and clean, and then be on his way. He settled on that one. Respectful, he thought to himself. Just let the guy do his job.</p><p>He felt pretty pleased with his decision and had just settled back into his seat when another blast hit the driver side window. It had a blue tinge to it and Link turned to look as soap suds coated the glass. He loved car washes when he was younger. He liked the pink and blue and yellow soap suds, it always felt like Easter. He loved the giant roller at the end and the windshield-rattling blast of air as the car rolled through the exit and the conveyor spit them back out into the sunlight.</p><p>A bump sound pulled Link back to the present situation and he glanced up at the ceiling, imagining the guy hosing off the rooftop. A blast sound came from above and Link’s gaze moved back to his left side as a shadow darkened the soap suds on the window.  Then there was a soft clink sound as something pressed into the soap suds. Link squinted for a moment, wondering what the thing was glinting in the light. Some sort of small shiny brush? Then another glint and Link quickly realized it was the guy’s nipples, pressing hard against the glass. The glint came from the diamond studded barbells pierced through each nipple. They clinked against the glass again as the man reached above to clean the rooftop. </p><p>For a brief moment Link considered the damage diamond studs might do to his windows and his paint job. But then the guy was moving again, pressing himself into the soap suds, and Link watched the small pink nipples move, and saw more tanned skin appear as the guy stretched up, then a trail of hair near a navel, and the waistband of some spectacularly tight shiny shorts. </p><p>Link’s dick twitched in his jeans. <i>Fuck.</i> So maybe there was a third option.</p><p>He could watch. It wouldn’t hurt, right? After all, he <i>was</i> a paying customer. He could just watch. He’d just watch. He’d watch. It would be fine.</p><p>So Link watched as the guy rubbed himself against the window, his nipple piercings clinking lightly each time he pulled back and leaned in again as he moved his hose to another location. Link attempted to ignore the slow burn building low in his stomach and moving toward his dick, but he was half hard by the time the guy stepped back from the window and water blasted it again.</p><p>A quiet huff of disappointment escaped Link’s mouth as the man moved away, but he could see clearly now at least, and he craned his neck to get another look as the guy moved to the back of the vehicle and blasted the back window with his hose. Link’s gaze moved from the left side mirror to the rear view and then to the right side mirror in an attempt to follow the man’s movements and he watched the guy sway his hips over to the passenger side window.</p><p>Then the same routine occurred there, with nipples on glass, piercings making a soft <i>clink clink</i>, and a tanned stomach pressed to the window as the guy moved his body through the suds.</p><p>Link was attempting to ignore his dick, which was pressing itself against his boxer briefs.</p><p>“Get it together, Neal..” he muttered to himself and as if on cue the guy stepped back again and blasted the window with water. </p><p>Link watched, waiting for the guy to move on, wondering where he was going to go next, but the guy didn’t seem to be going anywhere. He stayed at the side window, moving his hips, the hose hanging lax in his hand. Link watched as he brought his free hand up to one nipple and trailed fingertips over it, then over to his other nipple teasing the barbell there, and then down slowly, <i>down down down </i> and before Link realized what he was doing he was leaning over the passenger seat to get a look at where the hand was going.</p><p>He watched as the guy teased his fingers across the band of his shorts, slipping his thumb under the band for just a moment before pulling out and giving his finger a teasing ‘no no’ shake. Then his hand was moving again, ghosting over the shiny fabric, trailing over a prominent bulge as his hips continued to sway, and he cupped himself teasingly before his fingers were moving back up, and Link’s gaze followed them <i>up up up</i> to the guy’s mouth where he slipped two fingers through wet lips.</p><p>A soft whine slipped from Link and he stared as the guy pulled the spit soaked fingers from his mouth and gave Link a slow nod.</p><p>Link’s cock was pushing hard against his boxers and he willed his brain to ignore the pleasurable ache and the damp spot of precum on the fabric, and willed his hands to stay where they were.</p><p>With Link still leaning over the passenger seat, the guy moved again, heading to the front of the vehicle.  Link sat up quickly, his eyes fixed on every movement, and he watched as the guy stood directly in front, the hose now raised in his hand as he snaked it left and right, blasting the hood with water.</p><p>Link silently cursed the height of his SUV as it cut the guy off right at waist level and Link wanted another look at the bulge in those tight little shorts. He attempted to sit up higher in his seat, straining forward as if he could somehow climb over the steering wheel to get a better view and suddenly the guy was putting one foot up on the bumper, and then the other, and he was <i>on</i> Link’s hood.</p><p>The man stood there for a moment, so incredibly tall Link was pretty sure he was going to hit his head on the ceiling, and then he was coming down to his knees, the water hose still grasped in one hand and a smaller hose in the other which had appeared from somewhere near the ceiling and was spitting out a stream of blue soap. Link watched silently as the entire hood was coated in blue, and then the guy tossed the smaller hose to the side and leaned forward, slapping his hand down in the suds. He moved it back and forth several times in an exaggerated cleaning motion, and then his head tipped up slowly, his eyes rising to meet Link’s through the windshield. The cleaning motion stopped and Link held his breath as the soapy hand moved away from the hood and up to the guy’s body, slipping across his stomach and then up again, sliding back and forth between the two barbells, teasing at the pink nubs there.</p><p>Link’s own hand betrayed him as it moved to his jeans and dipped inside, sneaking quickly passed the waistband of his boxer briefs, and hovering there, feeling the heat of his cock as it begged to be touched. The guy didn’t break eye contact with Link as he moved further up the hood, crawling toward the windshield, about to reach the glass before he stopped and sat back on his heels.  Link’s eyes flicked down at the guy’s shorts which were soaked through, so wet and slick Link was sure he could see the outline of his dick and the rounded curve of the guy’s cockhead.</p><p>Link’s hand was still hovering above his own dick, shaking as he resisted the urge to grab himself and fuck into his hand.  He knew he was on the edge, and he realized he was still holding his breath as he edged himself closer and closer. The man was still watching him and Link stared back as the guy moved the water hose over and held it against his dick like a giant water-spurting cock, rutting suggestively as he splashed water across Link’s windshield.</p><p>A rasping whine fell from Link’s mouth and his hand was finally on himself, his own skin feeling so hot against his palm as he pulled roughly at his cock, his thumb flicking over the wet slit at the tip. Link was close, so close, and he watched as the guy teased another finger over a nipple and splashed another spray of water onto the windshield, his hips rutting suggestively in the air as if he was fucking someone, or getting fucked. Link gave another swipe of his thumb, teasing his cockhead, imagining what the guy would do if Link opened the door and invited him in. Would he suck Link’s dick? Would Link get to explore those little shorts? Would they fuck? Would he take those nipples into his mouth and gently suck each piercing, flicking them with his tongue, licking over and over until the guy was begging for Link’s mouth on his cock until he’d be cumming and cumming and cumming...</p><p>Link shuddered then and fucked hard into his palm, his eyes closing as a stream of warmth hit the fabric of his boxers. He stroked himself through it, his hand moving from a frantic pace to a few lazy tugs before he eased off. It took him a few seconds to remember where he was and Link cautiously opened his eyes, suddenly fearful of meeting the guy’s eye in his post-jerking haze.</p><p>To his surprise the guy was just staring at him, his hand still absentmindedly spraying the hose across the windshield, and then he smiled. Fucking smiled!</p><p>Link could only stare back in a daze and he watched as the guy moved off his heels, sitting on the hood for a brief second before sliding easily off the side and landing on his feet next to the driver side mirror. He reached down to pick up the soap hose, continuing with his job, and of course.. It was a business and the guy had an actual job to do.</p><p>Link slowly eased his hand out of his boxers, looking for a place to wipe the quickly cooling cum and he settled on the inside of his t-shirt, figuring he could just throw it in the wash when he finally made it home.</p><p>A green sign flashed the words GO GO GO above him and Link set his hand on the gearshift, knowing he was supposed to leave, but he was feeling the urge to do <i>something</i> and he wasn’t entirely sure what. The guy was now on the opposite side of the vehicle, rolling up the water hose, and Link clicked his fingers over the automatic window buttons until the passenger side window went down.</p><p>“Hey,” Link called out and the guy looked over, his eyebrow raised inquisitively.</p><p>“Thanks,” Link called again, not entirely sure what he was supposed to say in this type of situation but feeling like <i>thanks</i> was probably safe.</p><p>“No problem, man,” the guy replied, a smirk playing on his mouth. “Not a mistake then?”</p><p>Link laughed. “A misunderstanding,” he said, “but not a mistake after all.”</p><p>“Well, alright,” the guy drawled, smiling at him again. “Maybe I’ll see you around then.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Link picked up the receipt and held it up, feeling like a bit of an idiot. “now that I know you’re here.”</p><p>The guy nodded, his expression kind, and Link suddenly felt brave enough to ask his next question. </p><p>“Can I get your name?” Link hesitated, “you know, for next time?”</p><p>The man seemed to hesitate, and Link realized he was likely crossing a million lines and it probably wasn’t appropriate to ask the guy’s name.</p><p>“I mean,” Link stammered, “sorry if I’m overstepping here. You don’t have to tell me.”</p><p>“Nah,” the guy replied. “It’s cool. My name’s Rhett.”</p><p>Link grinned. “Nice to meet you Rhett.” </p><p>Rhett smiled back at him. “And you’re..?”</p><p>“Link.”</p><p>“Link?” Rhett said with a laugh. “That’s a cool name, Link.”</p><p>They stared at each other for a moment before Rhett pointed to the sign which was still flashing GO GO GO.</p><p>“Hate to kick you out, man, but my boss has rules and if you stay any longer I’ll have to double charge you.”</p><p>“Oh right, of course” Link replied, finally shifting into gear and rolling forward, “see you around, man.”</p><p>A lot of the mist had cleared and Link steered toward the exit, his mind so focused on driving he didn’t hear Rhett calling him at first. When his brain registered the call of “Hey Link!” he hit the brake pedal just as Rhett jogged up to the passenger side window.</p><p>“I’m here most nights,” Rhett said, and Link couldn’t help the stupid grin he gave in reply.</p><p>“Okay,” Link finally stammered. “See you soon then.”</p><p>Rhett gave the door a little slap with his hand and went jogging back to his work station, while Link continued toward the exit, smiling as the warm blast of air shook his windshield, and then he was out of the building and driving off into the night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm lallyloo on tumblr. I mostly post Rhink stuff and sometimes post fic.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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